HI, IT'S ME, AMELIA.

If you're reading this it's too late. I've already infiltrated your brain where I plan on living rent-free either way, so you might as well read my free newsletter once a week.

My Search History, pt. 1

Wait, you thought I was going to share that here? That is a private corner of my life that my designated survivor-esque friend has signed a blood oath to delete upon my death so that it will never see the light of day.

But in other fun news, I follow Google Trends all day and write about them, so I know some of the weirdest things going down on this Interweb.

So here are some of my favorite searches of the week from y’all:

• Michael B. Jordan underwear ad

• Michael B. Jordan underwear ad + apology to his mom

• How to become a Federal Air Marshal

• Jon Hamm fiancée + how old?

• Taylor Swift or Shakespeare?

• Selena Gomez birth chart

Chronically Ch(ill)

Self-care tips of the week are officially in session.

If anyone should know about self-care, it’s me. I spent two years of my life in bed and another 4 getting treatments for Lyme disease. I gotchu.

• Order a NodPod (no I don’t get paid for anything I tell you to buy) and put it in the freezer. The next time you’ve got a headache, you’ll be so thankful for this tip. The NodPod is a weighted sleep mask, so it applies just enough pressure to your sinuses if they’re the reason behind your headache. The cool from the freezer feels like it’s literally melting into your face, without getting you wet (because it’s made of cloth, unlike other freezer masks). Bonus: use it on your neck when you’ve been bent over the computer for too long (cold or room temp). The weight from the NodPod feels amazing on your muscles.

• Have your doctor check your Vitamin D levels! This one is so seriously beneficial if you are like me and work weird shifts that don’t allow you to get as much sunlight as you might during the summer months. You’ll probably be surprised to find out how low your levels are. Luckily, there are multiple ways to solve this; the easiest is with a Vitamin D capsule each morning.

• Practice gratitude. I know it sounds cheesy, but even just writing down three things, people, experiences, places, etc. that you’re grateful for each day, you’re going to feel much more grateful for your life over time.

Life Hacks that Seriously Worked

As boyfriends do, mine decided to leave him wet towels in a tucked-away hamper before he left for Asia. For a month.

I finally found them when I couldn’t figure out where the smell of mildew and Old Spice was coming from. I’d seriously given up on them and was about to throw them in the garbage and hit up my Target app for some new ones when I paused.

ICYMI, there’s a magical part of the internet called CleanTok (just search it on TikTok) where everything is dust-free, and they share all kinds of cleaning hacks and organization tips.

There, I found the answer to my woes. Here’s what you do if this were to happen to you:

• Put the towels in the wash on the hot setting, and fill the washer with 1 cup of vinegar. Wash a full cycle.

• Next, while they’re still wet, add 1/2 a cup of baking soda. Now wash a full cycle on hot again.

• Take your towels out and dry them (don’t use fabric softener, it ends up adding filmy residue to them that can be hard to get out).

And just like that, the towels were not only back to smelling normal, but they were also fluffier than they were before. Win-win.

If you liked any of the content above, please subscribe for similar content weekly (although it will definitely be mixed up). My birthday is next week! Consider subscribing as your gift to me. Plus, it’s free. (Unless you want to pay and become a founding member, but I’m still wrinkling out the details on that so, more on that next week!)